Jetsons, Here We Come!

So right now I'm on a flight from Salt Lake City, Utah, to Baltimore, Maryland.

And I'm on the internet.

So.

Cool.

1452: Gutenberg prints the first book.

1492: Lead pencils first used. Colorful plants rejoice.
1714: Typewriter patented.
1765: First steamboat voyage.
1790: Shoelace invented. Adios, shoe buckles!
1802: Steam locomotive patented.
1819: Bicycle patented. Lance Armstrong's ancestors feel strange new sense of greatness.
1844: First telegraph message.
1862: Machine guns patented and bowling balls invented. It was a very good year.
1867: Nobel patents dynamite. Future Boy Scouts rejoice.
1876: First telephone call by Alexander Graham Bell. He is charged a $10 first-timer fee by his provider.
1886: Karl Benz patents first automobile.
1903: Wright brothers complete first airplane flight. Ostriches and penguins extremely jealous.
1928: Scotch tape marketed. FOTC starts writing hilarious song.
Etc, etc, etc. Click here for a great and overly extensive technology timeline.
2009: I'm using the internet on a plane. Awesome.

At this rate of technological innovation, my Jetsons car must already be in production somewhere in Japan and should be shipped later next week.

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Thanksgiving in Utah

The holidays are about family, and that's why I love flying home to Utah for Thanksgiving. Spending time with the family is always a blast, and I can't imagine a better way to spend the week. Pie Night
As family traditions go, this is right up near the favorites. We've been hosting them for upwards of 15 years now, and Pie Night is sweeping across the nation, slowly but surely. We had a pretty good turnout this year, and plenty of pie to go around and fill our bellies. I think I had around 6 small slices. Personal favorite: banana cream. Football
One of Adam's buddies organized some turkey day football, so Adam, Pete, and I went to play. Early on, Pete and I were putting on a show with interceptions and catching long passes. The opposing team started focusing on us, so we couldn't get as many big plays, but that opened things up for some of our teammates. We were playing tackle, and I started to get reminders that my body in high school may have been a football body, but now I've got a runner/cyclist body. Hits started to take a toll, and I was hurting by the second game, but it was still fun. Adam started to tear it up in the second game, and he was finding the holes in the defense for some big gains and touchdown catches. By the end, I think we were all pretty tired and somewhat beat up, but it was a great way to start the day.Thanksgiving
Some of the Cravens came over and we all enjoyed a delicious Thanksgiving feast of Smythical proportions. Wow, I really like that word. Smythical. You may see it more in the future on my blog, though I'll try not to abuse it. Anyway, back to the task at hand. Between the Smyths and Cravens, I don't hesitate that my family can make some mighty fine vittles. My mom made the bird. Aunt Elaine made the mashed potatoes. My cousin Emily made creamy veggies. And I don't know exactly who made all the rest, but my tummy thanks all who were involved.Fantastic Mr. Fox
In the afternoon, some of us decided to go see a movie. This is a pretty standard event for us on Thanksgiving, and we try to pick a good one. Megan, Dave, and I joined the Cravens in seeing the modern adaptation of one of our beloved childhood books, "Fantastic Mr. Fox" by Roald Dahl. It's one of those that mom read to us in bed, so being reminded of the story gave me warm fuzzies (which is curious, since it's really not a very happy-go-lucky storyline). We all agreed that the stop-motion work was fantastic and showed real craftsmanship. As is typical of Wes Anderson movies, there was a great focus on the relationships between oddball characters, and the soundtrack was excellent, too. I loved it.Family Pictures
With the twin girls growing more every day, and Peter and I living on the East coast but home for the weekend, Grammy (my mom) scheduled a timeslot at JayLynn Studios to have some family pictures taken. First we have pics taken of all of us together, then some of Adam & Lindsey's family, then Peter & Jordyn, and finally some of my Mom & Dad. I'm just gonna go ahead and say what everyone's thinking: I have got an incredibly attractive family :) Family Fun Time
When it's cold outside and we can't really play trampoline games or run around playing sports, we turn to fun indoor activities. This time, we played Guitar Hero Metallica, went to Fat Catz for bowling, played Cranium, and watched the movie "Up!" Of course, during all of these we were talking and laughing and having a good time. Which really highlights what I'm most grateful for during the holidays, my family and getting to spend time with them. I love each of my family members and can't wait to see them again at Christmas!

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Dear Tollroad Idiot

I should have known when I got in the Exact Change tollbooth lane and you were clearly looking all around your car for change. Your head was bobbing up and down and left and right as you searched every nook and cranny of that stupid maroon sedan (I think it was a Taurus) for any nickel or dime you may have dropped between the seats during your last late-night McDonalds drive-thru run.

My instinct was to drive around you, since you were leaving about 6 car lengths between you and the car in front of you. Your efforts to stall for more time were a sign that you were going to make my morning hellish, and I should have listened to my internal alarms and passed you right there before the tollbooth.

But I didn't.

I waited in line, like a good little tollroad driver. And when you got to the coin drop, and only threw in a couple coins, and the light didn't turn green, that's when I knew for sure I didn't like you.

And when you went back to your searching and finally grabbed some random coins (I'm assuming pennies, or you'd have used them the first time) and tossed them in the direction of the coin drop, and only about 20% of the coins made it in but you weren't concerned enough to pick up the ones that missed (which strengthens my penny assumption, since you knew the pennies weren't going to actually make a difference anyway), that's when I knew that I loathed you.

And after I gave a polite honk to tell you to just go through and accept that you're going to get a ticket in the mail for being unprepared, going in the Exact Change lane when you obviously should have chosen a Full Service lane, and subsequently ruining all our lives, that's when you decided to inch forward and try to talk with the police officer by the next tollbooth over. You still wouldn't get out of the way and let the ever-growing line of cars behind you in the only open Exact Change lane pay the toll with their exact change and get on their merry way!

Cue my visions of Fried Green Tomatoes.

So I gave another polite honk, even though I wanted to lay on that horn with all the fury of a thousand suns, and then tear my door off and throw it at your car. But still you inched forward, finally reaching the point that the bell went off telling everyone that you'd just driven through without paying.

However, I don't think you were far enough forward for the camera to catch your license plate yet. And still you inched forward, still trying to get the cop's attention, but he wasn't interested in helping you (I'm guessing because he could smell the stench of your ineptitude emanating from your open passenger-side window.

Once you'd pulled forward enough that I could advance, I pulled up to pay my toll. Elated to leave you behind to sort out with the law your incompetence and whether you should be allowed behind the wheel of an automobile.

Can you say "revoked license?"

I gave you a few extra seconds and let you move 5 more feet, and then I threw in my three quarters (note: exact change, as required by this lane), paused for the green light, and then pulled forward.

And as I did so, I heard that bell go off, and my utter hatred for you was cemented, tollroad idiot. If I get a ticket in the mail as a result of your screwing up the tollbooth system and my toll not registering (even though the light went green), I will wish upon you even fouler things than are currently germinating in my mind. Let's just hope it doesn't come to this. In the meantime, please learn to observe signs, get in the correct lane, be prepared, and generally pull your head out of your rectal cavity.

Sincerely,

Aaron

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